Sorry I've been such a bad blogger this month, I've been in kind of a rut. I don't really want to do anything but runaway. I think this whole being a parent, thankless job, thing is starting to really get to me and now the whole hunting season is about to start. I don't begrudge hubby being gone, we need the meat he hunts for, but I don't like being home alone and although he only mostly works and comes home, he still leaves these walls everyday for a period of time. I tend to completely whole up when he isn't home, I mean I have four friggin kids where am I to go by myself and either not worry about losing a child or being completely overwhelmed because god-forbid they listen to their mother. And to add insult to injury, I feel like a freak by all the people staring at me, not helping, just staring like I'm about to pop another one out any second. "man that looks like a lot of work" really, you think just maybe, hmm, just a little bit.
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I'm stopping myself now, the vent is more than enough and tomorrow morning I may just delete most of it but I need to get some of it off my chest. And before any of you mention it I do realize T was left at home for 7 weekends in a row with the kids, but I will have every day of the week and every weekend until the middle/end of December with them. So a few weekends is really not that big of a deal.
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Stopping again, definately have my period, (first day this cycle) and it's all coming out with my sleep deprivation, oye. Again Sorry about this and next post will hopefully have some knitting content, I'm almost done with Se's socks, so cute.
It's perfectly acceptable to rant and be frustrated. Having four - count them FOUR - children is a lot of work. A lot of people don't realize how hard it is, especially when you're home alone with them every day. (Not that I know from personal experience, but it SCARES me nonetheless.) Being a SAHM is not nearly as easy as people seem to think. The isolation thing is, from what friends have said, totally normal. It sounds like you're a really great mom. But even really great moms get overwhelmed sometimes. So, know that there are people out here who are in awe of your ability to take care of four little ones on your own.
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